Open Season

The new generation doesn’t mind marrying late or walking out of relationships.

Arti chaudhary got married at 28. Her husband was 30. It was ‘just the right age’ by the standards of here peer group, in which it is normal to remain single, well into the 30s. five years into her marriage, Arti is now “thinking about having a baby sometime”. Her mother got married when she was 16 and by Arti’s age she had grown-up children.

Arti says, there was no time to marry earlier for her. She was studying and wanted to settle into a carrer before tying the knot.  Arti, an HR executive in Mumbai is the typical DINK(double income no kids) person.  Her life might be very different from the one her mother, a homemaker, led. Yet, her existence is very traditional, compared with people around her. Another couple a few doors away from her, has an open live-in-relationship, unshackled by matrimonial commitments. Several of her friends have already had divorces and most others are yet to find “someone worth marrying”.

The new millennium brought in an era where people are more individualistic in their relationships. They marry when they want to, not because the parents have found a match. They walk out of bad relationships, preferring the public inquisition of neighbours to the private torment. It is also a generation for whom sex is not equal to marriage.

This is not to say that things were totally different 2-3 decades ago. Young people had adventures back then too. But those were mostly hush-hush affairs, and ‘mistakes’ could only be remedied with marriage or suicide. Today, there’s an openness that many people might frown upon, but  at least it doesn’t stifle those within the relationships.

When actor Neena Gupta decieded to have daughter Masaba out of wedlock in the late 80s, she was in a way, a trailblazer. But single parent families today face fewer questions and are almost considered normal, especially in bigger cities. A big move was when the government decided that a mother’s name in the school admission form was enough.

By the time Sushmita sen decided to adopt kids and not get married, the choice wasn’t even considered avant-garde.

A love and Hate relationship.

A love and Hate relationship.

Neena had an arranged marriage when she was barely 22. The clinching factor was that Akash, her husband was in a MNC and was in a highly rewarding job. Her family felt that this match was perfect.

Soon after her wedding, the emotional abuse started, within 3 months of their marriage. If anything went against the way Akash wanted it,there would be an argument,followed by abuses. It was just in 6 month of marriage when he hit her for the first time. At first she thought she might have provoked him, So she thought to overlook the incident. but it happened again a few days later, and this time without any reason. Akash was drunk and he kicked neena black and blue. Everytime this would happen and Akash would apologise repeatedly. For some days after the incidents he would pamper her with words of apology.

But then again the violence would start suddenly for some or other reasons. Neena didn't tell her parents about the behaviour of akash as we all know generally what our parents would suggest "Beta, try to adjust". thng. which is the most common sentence in our Indian Society, regarding their married daughters.

But do u think neena should adjust for irrational and violent behaviour of Akash?

Do u think, she should continue her marriage with such a person?

and above all being educated and cultured , does this behaviour of husbands like akash is right?

On and Of Marital Abuse

  On and Of Marital abuse is about the women like Neena, who for the sake of their family and society tolerate abuses silently.

 

 They do have life,they are entitled to live freely with due respect. its time to reboot your life It is not only case with Neena - a simple young house wife, who is not financially independent. but also case with many working women too, who are a victim of marital abuse. "She is Smart, Educated, and Self Sufficient- yet she lets her husband kick and slap her almost daily,never saying a word about it to anyone. This could be U. and if you are,its high time to reboot your life". Kajal,35,who works in a multinational organisation in Mumbai, got married to Rahul,who used to work in the same organization. After 5 years of courtship they decided to get married. After her marriage to Rahul, she tasted her first abuse within a month of their marriage when Rahul slapped her hard over a trivial issue, discussing something regarding financial management. she found it very difficult to accept that this was the same man she had known for five years, a man who was otherwise caring, sensitive and funny.... The violence continued over the years,and kajal endured it not telling to her parents. Both Rahul and Kajal were in good jobs. Their lives went on this way,but the abuse grew day by day making life hell for Kajal.. Did she never think of leaving Rahul? She says" I could not leave coz it was i who had chosen to marry Rahul." beside she has a daughter too.. Why do women like Kajal,educated, smart, self sufficient,able to earn more than enough, stick to husbands who are physically abusive?

in life

Sometimes all you can give is love
Sometimes all you have is not enough

Sometimes life is like a dream
Sometimes dreams aren’t what they seem

Sometimes laughter can heal your heart
Sometimes it’s laughter that breaks it apart

Sometimes the world goes faster than you can go
Sometimes even fast is still too slow

Sometimes going home is the only thing on your mind
Sometimes home is the only place you can’t find

Sometimes you are too tired to sleep
Sometimes you are too sad to weep

Sometimes freedom holds you back
Sometimes a wedding dress is black

Sometimes loneliness is what you need
Sometimes there’s a harvest without a seed

Sometimes darkness can be too bright
Sometimes rain gives you delight

Sometimes you think you understand
Sometimes you know you really can’t

Sometimes what sets you free are restrictions
Sometimes what makes most sense are contradictions