Me Time

But let there be space in your togetherness

“You are wife, mother, and colleague. But you are you also remember that. It is very important for you to devote some ’me’ time for yourself..” began a speaker addressing the ladies club of an Army unit. It was a new thought for the Army wives who, so  far, had been told of their roles as the better half of soldiers. With hectic social lives, they thought they were pampering themselves enough. The talk set the ladies thinking.  They realized how little they had thought about themselves as individuals.

Never had India been more individualistic as in the present times. “ I love my family and will stand by them in their trouble. But thought I know they will, too, I don’t demand it from them. I aspire to work hard and have a little nest egg that will see me through a bad patch”, says a 30-year-old happily married woman. Yes, this is ‘me’ age, everyone  fends  for themselves and ferociously guard their personal space, even in the crowded one bedroom apartment.

Retired grandparents would rather live by themselves than give up personal space for the joys of being close to children. Vacation time is good enough to bond, is the general sentiment. This trend has picked up in a big way over the last decade.

It was a new thought for Indians who had lived in communities and were identified as the families they belonged to rather than as individuals. But the present times have helped us hone individual personalities, with husbands and wives managing equally demanding careers”. I believe it is a healthy trend, giving people time to flourish as individuals. Even children demand personal space and we need to respect it.

Me-time means no longer feeling guilty about going shopping with friends after work. It’s a stress buster thereby healthy for relationship. A far cry from an earlier ethos in which you were defined by how you executed your duties. It means couples take a little break by themselves for “we time” instead of visiting parents every time. Rather be guilty about it, they realize it is important for a healthy relationship.

If the individual isn’t happy, or is stressed out, won’t it snowball into a larger crisis ultimately involving the entire family?

The trend has given a boost to the indulgence industries. Diamonds for the girl who wants to treat herself and spas for some self pampering…” Apna Khayal rakhna” as one advertisement tag line says.